I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
