so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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