scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
