awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
