I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
