Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
