Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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