Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
