There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
