I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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