the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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