summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
