We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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