Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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