she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
