Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
