My liver just broke up with me...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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