I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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