In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
