We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
