3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
