oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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