Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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