we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
