I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
