The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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