Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
