You really coming over, don't trick.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Randomize
