kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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