Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm getting married
To pizza
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
