holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
