Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
