today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
