this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
