STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
