I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
