new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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