I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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