why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
