i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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