p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I love you.
Bad choice
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
