Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
