Barsexuality is the new black.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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