she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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