My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
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