Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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