ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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