Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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