why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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