Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
