I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
