What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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