Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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